Laziness and Moi

meeeennnn!!!i neva update becuz i dey buZZZZZYYY!!!
ok na lie,
just being plain old LAZY...
i got gist sha but meeen!!
sorry to disappoint the "few", me just plain old lazy!
i've stopped procastinating..
(can i have a BIG cheer somebody)!!!
i'll be back in a flash

"mini" & Spoil-teneousity!!!!

Guess ur all so curious.
well,i've had too many COME-BACKS (meaningless ones).
this time around i'm making a QUIET "re-re-re-RE-entry"
(whatever that means)
decided to sit in front of the Big tube
and catch up on all i've been missing
(abi wey i don miss)
couldn't help but admire what Soulja boy and Sammie did in "kiss me through the phone"
(luvly video i must add).
imma sucker fe luv!!!

neways guess my love for CRUNK music will NEVER end,
i've seen so many "lean back(s)!!"
and stumbled on "stanky legz" by the gsboyz.
couldn't help but wonder...hmmm!!!

SPOIL-TENEOUS==
yup i go skool
and no try correct me...bcos i dey absolutely correct.
"SPOIL-TENEOUS"..act of messing up ur rep when acting impulsively..
ATTRIBUTES of spoil-teneousity;-u regret ur actions afterwards.

Decided to play D.J. to Lil MZBirthday girl after she called
to tell me her b.day was a week earlier.
apart from being dead-ass-broke,
i felt i could still make her day worth-while.
(tots running in my head)
--i got it!!!--PLAY HER A SONG.
next thing i did was ask her,
"what song wud u luv to listen to"?
she giggled ,
then said, "i trully don't know"
==="hey!, take a pick"
(me being all so confident)
Mz="D'banj's, "U don mek me fall in luv"
==="hold on a sec i'll call ya back"
sprints
(ooh no!them busy on the pc)..
hmm!!yup i got it
heads over to my pal
==="hey!can i have ur phone"
Pal,"hmm!!why u smiling sheepishly, what u up to?"
==="can i just have ur phone pls"
hands it out
dashes
dials Mzb.day again
==="hi there, this is D.J. ...(cant remember wat i called miself again)
this song is going out to MzB.day.
trully am sorry i cant get u anything but this is from moi"
hits the play button
yup! i PLAYED it from start to finish
at the end , i decided to give a speech
==="hey!happy b.day, wishing u the best, ok
gotto run".
hangs up

ever since, Lil Mz b.day been acting all so so weird
no christmas or new year greeting.
agreed she hardly calls but i called her about a week ago
and well her phone went dead in the middle of a conversation.
yeah! yeah!!!
i know wat ur thinking
but i feel that even if her battery "went" flat,
she should have had the courtesy to send a text message.

NO MORE SPOIL-TENEOUSITY for me again..
hmm!!!
wonder how long that would last
looks up

Story So Far

I am not going to sit here and cry out loud about my sorry life.
neways urs trully has been threading the path of self-discovery!
(yeah right!!- felt it sounds cool)
he!he!!he!!!
no be sey i no dey serious o!
the honest truth? heesh!!!i think i'm loosing my mind.
i read the newspapers not for info or watever, but cuz i don't want mi "mind" to wander"
yup Wolfiee has been thinking way too much about his wolfiee existence.
okay no drama here o!
but i no even know where to start.
just realised i keep going the extra mile for folks who don't deserve it
and i keep asking myself this question?
"if Wolfieee passess away today will my friends(so called) even know im gone"?
i feel like screaming...
AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhh!!Ppppiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssss Offfffffffffff!!
i doubt if any part of wat i been mumbling and pouring out makes any sense.
but to me it does....
does being me , make me a bad person?
i no thief, i no kill, i no be saint!

The Journey So Far

i've been on trying to post my welcome-welcome-welcome back blog
for the past 14hrs and counting(trust me, it's not figurative)
anyways it never was my intent to "leave" mi blogville neighbours out in the cold
but all was for a good reason.
been going through a lot in my wolfiee life.
neways, hopefully lets see if i'll be back for good.
12:34 AM
just want to say a big thank u to a couple of mi neighbours
(u know urself)
for believing in me and for the rest of u say shame shame shame to urself!!!
he..he..he...
give way ,i Baaaaccckkkkkk!!!
spread the news!!!

I'VE BEEN CLAWED......!!!!

anyways i'm going to deviate from una RULES o!!!
abeg no looku me like that!
(looks back)can't see no cop on my tail,
anyways id better get on with it..
i hear Tears decided to cry"fully" "tag" me

1: i luv rounding up figures to the nearest zero's
well cuz i don't like numbers that end with 9,2,4,5,6,3,1,8,7
if its not a zero..ill stop there and give u some example..
my telephone numbers all end with zero's(one with two zeros and
the other a "shingle" zero).watsoever i've got in my bank account
must also end with a zero.i don't think im obsessed am i?

2: i've got a tip for the lady's, although i'ld be giving it out for free.
does "waking up, looking into the mirror and screaming at the top of ur
voice cuz u've got a mole on ur face and 2morrows that "special"
day",sounds familiar?anyways urs truly does this...ehm..applies a lil bit of
saliva on it
NB: never under any circumstance press a mole on ur face..apply a lil bit
of saliva on it ..wake up next morning its either gone or unnoticeable..
yuck!!!abi? see ur face!saliva don't come in sachets ooh!!!hmmm!on second tots
business fit don come...(says with Igbo accent)!!!
if ur own no work call me...1-800-wolfieeSalivavanish toll free.i deliver
anywere in the world.

3: a sight that appalls me in Eko is seeing ladies with "flabby" bellies
spoting a tight,short blouse with a tight pair of pants revealing how curved
their belies are.i definately don't have a preference when it comes to size,
but try not to wear wats in vogue, but what looks good on ya..iv seen
some big women who were so FLY...abi na HOT.

4: i hate,absolutely HATE wearing shoes. i'ld rather walk out of the house
in a pair of slippers than a pair of shoes. i hate wearing shirts , suits
ties.Lord save me!
anyways ive been praying to God to help me out with a wife who would
help me out(not FORCE me)

5: i worry too much about other people.i guess thats why lots of them take me
for granted.but i've decided to SPOIL myself...u know(wink)

6: id rather have someone tell me something bad about their past,than
getting a mail with photos in it...abi videos

7: hush!hush!! unlike most fellas or Africans, i don't see anything wrong when
a lady happens to ask a guy out!yeah u heard me right..
if it ever happened to me...i'ld ....hmm!!!

8: im a sucker for luv....although it dont exists, wish it still did
i luv to be pampered....u know rub my fur(howllll)
what u give u recieve...he!he!!he!!!
anyways i've got my claws all sharpened, hmm so who's gonna get "CLAWED"?
(dresses up in Royal attire)i hearby CLAW....
(heesh...i hardly have any friend on blogville)
i'll pass on that one(sorry to disappoint u)

SPOT DA DIFFERENCE

anyone seen J-Holiday around?
can anyone spot the difference if any :Bllk-Wolf VS J-Holiday
okay!i see the look on ur faceand i sure do get the message...
i haven't gone gaga yet ok.
we ain't twin brothers though.
he's on the light side and i'm on the dark side(complexion ooh!not spookiness)
so what do we have in common?
he's a Red Sox (MLB) citizen and so am i in my own little way.
he sings pretty well and i croak pretty well too.
he sure knows how to treat his woman right and ladies i luv that song...
u know the one i dey talk of abi?BED!!!
(opens 32)"right there...now stop and let me repay u
.....i luv it...u luv it
...everytime we
....i'll see u
....wanna put my fingers
......im staring at u while u sleep
..my Angel thanks for letting me bless u
......now drift right back to heaven...(wink!!!!)
don't crucify me!!!!

I need some Love

howdy blog "potters" lol!!!
anyways i didn't win a million bucks ,
neither did i get married to the future heir of the British throne(i know sey all of una wit bad belle go dey happy)
hmmm!!!
truthfully?
i need all of u to send ur love out to me...
iv been down all week and still am,
don't ask me why cuz its got nothing to do with matters of the heart
(see all of them graving for some hot gist)
spread the word, urs trully needs some show of love....

Reality..??@#$@%@%@%

i trully don't know what to say,
but i've been at this for more than a month (i guess),trying to put up a post that is.
but everytime i get going, somewhere along the way i just stare at the screen and sign out.
well, i guess its begining to dawn on me that blogville ain't meant for me..
don't ask me why, but i guess its so glaring that putting up a post (i'm never going to get comments to) scares the daylights out of me.
i'd guess i'd better sit on the fence, observe, and move my things out while i'm at it.

The Invasion

whacha think about the title, speaks volumes huh?

i've always been one who for no just reason keeps a record of my FIRSTS,

not in a book though, but stacked up somewhere in my head.

i remember a whole lot of firsts and the month of January 2008 will forever be one of those days and well....anyways get a bowl of popcorn, pull off ur shoes and grab a seat(front row preferably)

i felt it was a script not written for the movies but for dreamland

i opened my eyes, and looked up to see faces i've never seen before.

"but Z never invited any of his friends to pass the night", i said to myself

Suddenly,

O1 shouts "turn ur head", while O2 lands a big blow to my spine and i let out a big howl

says2self "Z is down and out, i see him in pain, ooh dear Aunt, Sis and Zsis ooh Lord not today"

O3 :"co-operate"

O1 :"cross ur hands", hits my wrist

O3 : "u don't want to co-operate abi, u go regret am"

......NOT TO BE CONTINUED



i actually thought i would be able to narrate what transpired that faithful day,

but as the images runs through mi head, i'm furious and so full of hate.

anyways that was an abridged version of what transpired at mi home last month ,

when men of the underworld paid us a visit.

although i wish i could whisk it all away, but the scar has been rubbed in all so well.

u know throughout my sojourn in this world,

i have never for one day been a victim of men of the underworld.

but the experience is one that left my 60 something year old Aunt visibly shaken,

and up till this day one wishes it never happened.

alot happened that faithful morning (sometime around 2:00 am) but i trully am so mad to continue writing this piece.





watch out for wolfiee: the rebirth

....."Das Return"

the return of wolfiee (a.k.a bllkwolf coming soon to a blogspot near you)

BEWARE....!!!

I came across this (looks down) and thought id share it with the crew...
although i've made a few modifications, so here goes nothing.!!!!

-During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine
.........lucky for me i don't swim..lol!!!

-In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)

-An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubichairs.

-In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!

-Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands
.........don't give me that look i didn't make this up!!!

-Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbatedand failed to wash their hands
.........actually someone came out of the "looU" and

-In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket
........perverts definately perverts

-At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.

-Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases
........so why don't we just have farts in aerosoil cans? could beat down the price of "air freshners"!!!

lets make the world HEALTHIER....FARTS IN AEROSOILS....ANYONE?????

free to hoowwwlllllllll.....FREE at last

pheeeeeeeEEEEEW!!!! (wipes the sweat off mi forehead....)
anyways i'm sure ur probably wondering what that... (points to the Title above)..is all about.
well, urs trully been down for a while (thanks but no thanks to those lil flying "APACHE" flies)..
must confess they couldn't hold me down for long U KNOW.
yeah!yeah!!!i fought it long and hard,i resisted , but they where persistent.
(now), enters my Doc,
and they begin to sing like canaries to him...
as FATE would have it, a process to mute the canaries was put in place.....
(says with an Italian accent).........."they were taken for a lil ride"..
Poetic justice eh?
don't u go looking at me like mi brains gone toast...
(nods)NO WAY!!!!
just wanted everyone to know --im alive and kicking.....
he!he!!he!!!
(looks at the clock) 02:14am 9ja time....hmmm!!!!
the good news is that i'm up and running!!!
not beserk ok!!!
(looks at the clock) 03:24am...!!!!!
dn't ask me why!!!!

IN DA CLOSET...

i've decided to start of my "IN DA CLOSET" series today,maybe its because today happens to be the seventh day, of the seventh month, in the year two thousand and seven(2007).(smiles with satisfaction)..i still haven't decided how this little series will turn out though.but i sure do hope its understandable...(don't ask me why)!!!

IN DA CLOSET

bllk wolf: yup like a couple of blogville residents , i smell my fart...(don't give me that look)

alter ego :u never know what the future holds, farts could come in aerosoil cans (smirks).
(holds up an aerosoil can) =N=50,000...care for some?discount price here!no refund policy though!!! he!he!!he!!!

bllk wolf : shoes are not my "thingy" .

alter ego : TRANSLATION:-hates being restricted, loves the freedom of "slip ons"...slipper boy!!!

bllk wolf : definately not a football fan.
alter ego : would rather watch Moto GP,Formula one,X-games,winter X-games, beach volley, lawn tennis play games, even if Nigeria happens to be playing the finals of the world cup ( sorry to disappoint you fellas)
Mi life aint that boring you know!!!

bllk wolf: a.k.a ICH BIN eine CRITIQUE....Nigerian movies are a NO__NO...dont get me wrong, foreign movies too could be "GBE" and too FAKE.

bllk wolf: i listen to the Beatles, Temptations, love Elvis and i get this feeling i must have been alive sometime between the 40's and early 60's.

bllk wolf: play silly games like, -throwing up an object and ild say to myself .."catch it , u'll pass ur exams".

bllk wolf: never seen any movie to be accurately termed as an HORROR movie in my lifetime..(been there, seen a lot..Bramstrokers, Stephen King and the rest but they don't deserve the title). hit me up if you feel you've seen one that meets up.

bllk wolf: definately the "oddest", being you will ever meet

bllk wolf : prefer even numbers to odd numbers (except for the number seven). would rather have my account in zeros (not in RED) rather than having 8666.7789 or something....

bllk wolf : NAMES I'VE BEEN CALLED in the past.......

1. gbokoto .......primary school actually, had a pound of flesh or two on mi body!!!
2. oju go..............well, what can i say? i wear glasses.
3. p***sy lips.......cause i'm blessed with lightly pink coloured lips ..(shouts)HATERS.....
4. shadow.........black skinned, sorry fellas no bleaching here, move over. thanks but no thanks.
5. scarface........SEARCH ME......beats me though......no idea!!!!!
6. hmm i think i'm done here for NOW!!!
   

bllk wolf : a girl is to a virgin , while a boy is to a ???
alter ego : a lad....
bllk wolf : (claps) job well done.
alter ego : yours trully (looks up) is one, NEVER BEEN THERE...fact or fiction?
bllk wolf: FACT,mid 20's and still cool with it...

DRIFTING...unveiling....reality steps in

here i go again!!!

im sure a couple of blogville residents must be wondering why i hardly update my page.

well fact is whenever i get on, i just keep staring.
(at no ones face though).

i actually tried posting a blog yesterday, but it never did materialise.

why?

well,didnt go to bed yesterday though was up and staring at mi computer screen,

while listening to a variety of songs done by Marvin Gaye, Barry White, Lemar, Beattles, Tyrese, Ludacris and Anita Baker ( just a few of the songs i've got saved on my computer).

fact is, i trully do not know why.

but the devils raising its ugly head again today...

cuz i seem to be doing the same thing..(beats me though).

anyways i noticed a couple of residents have been doing the "7 THINGS U DNT KNOW ABT ME ", and well i been thinking....and i've decided to HOP ON THE WAGON.

but this time , i'm going to call mine...IN DA CLOSET (nothing spectacular though and would be updated regularly).
i hope u've got urself an invitation cuz the UNVEILING would be done tommorrow...brace up for the "APOCALYPSIS".....(grins)

welcome back , welcome back, welcome bbbbaaaaaaaaaacccckkkk

(flashes a SMILE.....Meine 32)
(runs to the mic)..guess who's back to blogville???
i hope i've not been declared missing though (scratches head)...???
ive been around though...u know just making sure everyones well behaved..
lol!!!
(flashes badge)...so u all better watch out....
hold on a sec......need to take care of a few things....

freestyln..."la'blam"!!!!

ohh dear!!!
i don't like this font colour ,
hold on a sec....
here we go! this is more like it
don't even go there..anyways i'm feeling BLUE today (yeah baby!!!groovy)...
but ladies (a.k.a fashionistas....sounds gangsta to me though) if i happen to go on "RIOTING",u let me know ok....
with the font thing taken care of ,
i'm still having a lil problem though,
haven't decided on what the title of mi blog will be.......(pretty annoying),
hmmm!!........
ok i get it !!!...FREESTYLN thats what i'll call it ...
give me a sec let me put it up there....
thats taken care of....
i've been trying to find my way around here though,
but i guess i need a STRANGER to lead me on(im willing and 4get that add that says ..."MUM SAID I SHOULDN'T ALK TO STRANGERS")...
had to steal that "stranger" thing from Miss Fairy(Tinker..(HUGS))...lol!!!
a friend called me at midnight (yeah yeah, who no like FREE THINGS)...
and she offered to hook me up with a friend of hers,
you know what puzzles me, she is still "SURVEYING' (im sure u can figure that out)..
can a fella not choose to be SINGLE again?
anyways i had to tell her "PHYSICIAN HEAL URSELF"...(been dying to use that phrase for ages...YIPEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!), (GRINNING).....
still talking about my Friend....(i hope this is not gbeboru .....i doubt it!!!hmmm!!!..abi?)
please fellas can someone tell me why ladies don't respect our presence,
when they start describing FEATURES of another lady, one just walking past...
hessssssssshhh!!! u'ld be AMAZED at what they say..
but i must give 'em kudos , they seem to do a BETTER job than most PLAYERS i know...
(ok i am a SAINT not an AINT).........
GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!!
......ooh my God.., i dey "H",
need to grab some Garium Sulphite(GH2SO4)......(POINTS AT 36>>>im sure she's never heard of that before...lol!!!)
there's a lot to go around if u care for some.......

yyaaawwwwWWWWNNNNNN

its <hmm,let me see >1:52am and i just woke up.
dont give me that look! i'm pretty sure i got up before anyone of u..
deep within, i've got this feeling that it' going to take me AGES getting "mi first blog" done.
yipppeeeee!!!
well, at last i've started...
>>>>>>4:40am
ok, ok don't even think of asking me what i was doing in the last three hours!
well, i guess its one of those days u just sit and STARE at the computer.
nah!!! sorry to disappoint you.
i hope there's actually a welcoming committee here though (wouldn't mind some FREEBIES you know), for getting a blog started..lol!
DON'T BLINK!!!!i will"a" be BACK.....